Is your relationship at a standstill? Are you and your partner no longer communicating the way you used to? Do you feel like you’re repeating the same things over and over again whenever you talk to your partner?
Relationships aren’t consistent. They go through phases. And sometimes, they feel stagnant, repetitive. When that happens, it might mean your communication with your partner is what has come to a halt. There’s no progress. You’re no longer talking to each other. Instead, you’re talking at each other and hoping against all odds that something sticks. But nothing ever does.
Sometimes, it’s easy to notice when this is happening to you. Other times, it’s hard to tell whether your relationship is stagnating due to a lack of communication or if it’s because of something else. So, here are a few signs that your communication with your partner is not working.
When you and your partner decide to have real, important talks, you’re not really listening to each other. Either you or your partner are doing something else at the same time. Maybe you’re answering an email from work, or you’re doing something far less urgent like watching TV. You talk, but you’re distracted. You’re not focusing on what you’re discussing. This can easily lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
The best way to go about this is to choose. Either finish what you’re doing and talk later, when you can both focus, or drop what you’re doing and talk to your partner. But multitasking is not good for communication. It’s much more of a hindrance than a help.
Maybe you spend too much time on your computer or your phone. Or maybe you’re so busy with work that you don’t have time to spare for your partner anymore. Whatever the reason is, you and your partner don’t talk anymore. You don’t spend time together. There are no moments of emotional intimacy between you two. That makes it harder for any real communication to happen.
How can you two sit down and talk about things if you barely spend time around each other anymore?
Maybe the reason why you and your partner can’t communicate anymore is because you keep interrupting each other when you talk. That’s not a sign of good communication. It leads to both of you getting frustrated, and you start resenting each other.
You feel like the other isn’t really listening, like they think they know better. You feel like what you’re saying is not important to them. So, you stop trying to communicate altogether. What else are you supposed to do?
If you and your partner keep having the same arguments over and over, that is a sure sign there is no communication between the two of you. The same arguments keep coming up because they never get resolved. After a while, it’s like you’ve forgotten that you’re a team, you’re a unit.
You should be trying to find common ground to resolve the argument, but instead, you’re just trying to prove you’re right. Unfortunately, all this does is leave you both frustrated and exhausted.
It’s possible to improve the way you and your partner communicate, though it will need work on both your parts. If you’re not sure what to do next, you might want to consider counseling, alone or with your partner. A good counselor can help you navigate this situation; they can help you improve your communication skills and move past this communication breakdown that’s overcome you and your partner. Reach out today to set up an appointment for Emotionally Focused Therapy..