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Premarital Counseling

Would Your Relationship Benefit From Premarital Counseling?

Are you and your partner ready to commit to a long-term relationship, whether by getting married or living together? To safeguard your relationship from any potential pitfalls, would you like to identify and rectify any blind spots you may have? By nurturing deeper trust, intimacy, and emotional vulnerability, are you hoping to forge a bond that will last a lifetime?

You may have seen it happen to friends or family members—they loved each other, but without setting up a strong foundation from the beginning, their relationship crumbled when subjected to life’s stressors. Or perhaps you have lived through the heartbreak of divorce first-hand and hope to avoid making the same mistakes. This time around, you’re committed to setting your relationship up for success.

You Might Be Holding Off On Addressing “Hot Topics”

Embarking on marriage or making a commitment to a romantic partner is a joyous time in your life when planning your future together takes precedence. Even though you may have a stable relationship, taking a proactive approach can be valuable. Rather than waiting for rifts to emerge, getting ahead of potential pitfalls can positively affect the course of your romantic partnership.

You might be so busy house-hunting or preparing for the wedding that you haven’t had time to broach the subjects of finances, sex, children, and extended family. Perhaps you can already foresee obstacles related to your cultural differences or tensions with your in-laws about whether or not you’ll decide to have children. And if this isn’t your first marriage, you might be struggling with the challenge of blending your families, especially if you have younger children.

Whether or not you are considering marriage right away, premarital counseling can help you get on the same page with your partner. Entering into couples counseling before marriage allows you to address the topics you may feel antsy about and ensure you both feel confident taking the next step.

Planning The Future Of The Relationship Often Takes A Backseat To Planning For The Wedding

Whether it’s our first marriage or not, it’s easy to get carried away with the excitement of getting engaged and planning a wedding. We often spend months preparing for a one-day event and yet, fail to discuss the important issues that may impact our relationship in the long term. After all, it can be exhilarating to throw a lavish once-in-a-lifetime party. However, more pressing concerns, such as family planning, money, and in-laws, can be harder to tackle. Many couples tend to avoid frank conversations about thorny subjects, even when having these conversations would benefit them in the long run.

However, when couples come from different cultural backgrounds or have children from previous relationships, it’s important they talk about how they plan to navigate their relationship. They need to be willing to compromise to find the common ground that will ensure they maintain a strong, enduring bond.

Divorce Rates Remain High In America

Divorce statistics attest to how difficult keeping a marriage going can be. According to Psychology Today, “50 percent of first marriages, 67 percent of second, and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.” [1] What’s more, “30–40 percent of unmarried relationships and 18–20 percent of marriages see at least one incident of sexual infidelity.” [2] However, just because divorce is commonplace doesn’t mean that it can’t be prevented.

When you enter counseling before marriage, you can discuss the potential factors that could impact your relationship and work through the differences in outlook you each have. By incorporating evidence-based approaches to premarital counseling, such as Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) and the Gottman Method, your therapist will ensure you are equipped with the tools and techniques to sustain a happy and healthy relationship.

Premarital Counseling Provides You With The Tools And Insight To Help Your Relationship Flourish

Working one-on-one with a premarital counselor allows you to enter your marriage or committed relationship with a renewed sense of confidence that you have the tools to find solutions to whatever challenges you face. By utilizing a more proactive approach to improve your relationship, pre-marriage counseling can help deepen your connection.

Initially, we want to dispel the notion that you must strive for perfection. It’s okay for relationships to be challenging; in fact, we can all but guarantee you will experience adversity at some point. In premarital counseling, we aim to provide you with a wealth of evidence-based knowledge and tangible tools to help weather these storms. Creating a “safe haven” relationship based on physical and emotional safety ensures that, even when life circumstances get intense, you have established the commitment and vulnerability to support each other.

Sometimes, how we communicate our emotional needs gets lost in translation. The patterns that emerged in our earliest emotional bonds with caregivers still affect how we show up in our relationships. By exploring your attachment styles, you will understand each other’s way of communicating and expressing emotions. We will also identify the emotional “baggage” you each bring into the relationship. Along with other daily stressors, unaddressed baggage has the potential to erode your connection and cause emotional distance, conflict, and, in some cases, lead to infidelity.

By incorporating learn-by-doing teaching methods, premarital counseling will be dynamic and interactive, providing you with opportunities to engage in activities together that apply the principles being taught to real-life scenarios. Some long-term goals of premarital counseling may include:

  • Establishing safety and trust between partners;
  • Creating a more harmonious relationship by providing you with realistic strategies to handle conflict in ways that bring you closer;
  • Helping you navigate hot topics, such as family planning, financial concerns, and dealing with your extended family;
  • Learning how to avoid patterns that contribute to infidelity and betrayal.

The Modalities We Use

Utilizing Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) and Gottman premarital counseling principles, you can develop a closer and more secure bond with your partner by understanding how your patterns of conflict play out in your relationship and how these patterns relate to underlying unmet emotional needs. Gottman Method and EFT for couples are both evidence-based approaches that help you to get to the core of your issues by encouraging you to be vulnerable and expressive with each other. [1] [2]

Premarital counseling focuses on how maintaining a deep emotional connection and embracing vulnerability can positively impact your relationship. Not only will it make life together more joyful and harmonious, but forging a secure attachment can enrich physical and emotional intimacy. With a strong bond in place, you can withstand life’s challenges.

Rediscover What’s Been Missing From Your Relationship  

We are ready to support you in reconnecting with your partner on a deep level. To schedule a free consultation and learn more about couples therapy, please contact us.

But You Still May Wonder If Premarital Counseling Is Right For You…

Although all couples are unique, every relationship has the potential to strengthen and grow. Laying the groundwork for better communication and a deeper connection before making a long-term commitment will ensure a happier, more harmonious marriage. When you contact us for a free consultation, we can answer any questions or concerns you may have about therapy with a premarital counselor.

When you consider what you stand to lose if you divorce or break up down the road—both emotionally and financially—investing in your relationship now is worth it. A premarital counselor can provide the proper guidance and wisdom that will help you develop a secure foundation. You can also take comfort in the fact that you have come together to prioritize your relationship.

Understandably, many couples worry that by exposing hidden cracks in their relationship, premarital counseling will do more harm than good. However, hiding your head in the sand and hoping that everything will work itself out once you’re married isn’t a realistic strategy for sustaining a healthy relationship. Utilizing EFT and Gottman Method strategies for couples, we can address the challenging topics that, left undressed, can eventually crumble your relationship.

Getting Your Marriage Off On The Right Foot Is A Worthy Investment

Being proactive about your relationship today can help safeguard your marriage into the future. To schedule a free consultation and learn more about premarital counseling, please contact us.

[1] https://iceeft.com/eft-research-3/ [2] https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/