Are you recently single? Do you find it difficult to transition back to a life without a romantic partner by your side? Are you so lost that you don’t know how to be okay when single again?
This happens to a lot of people, especially when breakups are very sudden. It’s easy to feel lost, especially when you didn’t expect this to happen. You may not be prepared for the lifestyle switch that comes with a breakup.
So, what do you do in this scenario? How do you become okay with being single again?
1) Don’t Compare
We know better than to compare our lives to other people’s, but we still do it all the time. It’s normal if you do, too, especially so soon after a breakup. You look at the people around you, and their seemingly perfect lives make you feel inadequate, especially if they’re in loving relationships.
But we all live life at our own pace. It’s not a race or a contest or even something with the same goalposts for everybody. We’re all different, and our lives reflect that.
But also, keep in mind that you don’t truly know the details of the lives of the people around you. We all show the best parts of our relationships and lives to others and often hide the rest. There are a lot of things you don’t know about the people around you. You’re comparing your life to the best parts of other people’s, which makes it easy to feel like your own life doesn’t measure up.
2) Set Some Goals
What are your goals in life? Is there a promotion you’re striving for? A class you want to take to develop a specific skill? Do you have hobbies you love that you’ve neglected lately, or maybe new hobbies you want to try out? Is there a language you’ve always wanted to learn?
Everyone has goals outside of a relationship, or simply things they want to do for fun. Sometimes, people pause them when they start a relationship, and that’s okay. We only have so many hours in the day, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with your partner, even if it means passing on a class you really wanted to take or not playing guitar after work.
Being single is a good time to revisit those goals you had or those hobbies you had or always wanted to try.
3) Reach out to Others
A lot of people put aside their friends and family when they start romantic relationships. They don’t abandon them, exactly, but they spend far less time with them than they used to since they now spend time with their romantic partner, especially in the “honeymoon” phase.
Now that you’re single, this is the perfect time to make more plans with friends or talk to your family a little more often. Visit them, plan outings, schedule a movie night—there are so many things you can do with them, and now you have the time to do them. Staying isolated after a breakup can make you feel worse. Surround yourself with those you trust and whose company you enjoy.
And if all else fails, you always have the option of reaching out to a mental health professional. Breakups are tough, especially if you’ve been together long or if the break was unexpected. If you feel you need someone to talk to, but you don’t want to or you aren’t comfortable bringing it up to your friends or family, then talking to a counselor is a good place to start. We’re here to help you with relationship counseling.