Any relationship has its ups and downs. What makes it so much harder is when you are in a long-distance relationship, where you can’t just check in on your partner, or make last-minute dinner plans.
Having that physical distance can make it easier for emotional distance to creep in, so when you’re in a long-distance relationship, you have to work much harder to ensure you are both happy.
Intimacy, or timing can be difficult, and communication can end up in cross wires, resulting in you both feeling disconnected from one another.
What Hurts Long-Distance Relationships?
The leading factors in long-distance relationships ending are a lack of communication, too many differences and constant suspicion. When your partner is away from you or hundreds of miles away, it’s all too easy to assume the worst or think that they’ll find someone better.
You may also feel like they have lost interest in you, and you’re afraid to let go of them. This could lead to you chasing the other person, or texting and calling them excessively, with no boundaries. This can ultimately drive a wedge between you as one person may feel smothered.
When you’re apart, it’s easy for messages or texts to be misconstrued or misinterpreted, as you cannot really show tone or emotion in a text. Partners may end up becoming argumentative or defensive, which could lead to disagreements and tension.
After some time, you could also find that you are becoming two different people, with different needs, interests, and beliefs. This can happen naturally, and it’s no one’s fault. Sometimes, if you grow as a person, you may outgrow others, and need to find something more suited to you. It happens.
That being said, if you and your partner really want to make things work, then there are a few tips that you can follow.
5 Tips for a Successful Long-Distance Relationship
Sync Your Schedules
It’s important to ensure your schedules match up, even if you are in different time zones. Try to find common ground when you can call each other, but ensure this does not fall into a pattern where one person is always going along with the other’s schedule. Make it fair.
Match Your Goals
Make sure you are both on the same page. Chances are, you want the same things for your future, even if you are apart.
You also need to ensure that you have quality communication rather than quantity. Talking all the time doesn’t necessarily mean that you are strong communicators. If you feel obligated to talk to someone, you may feel forced to rather than that you want to talk to them.
Instead, choose times where you want to talk to each other, such as first thing in the morning when you wake or before bedtime to catch up about your days. Or call them when you want to share exciting news or have a bit of support. Plan ahead when you’ll video call so that you have both set time aside to be with one another.
Trust Each Other
You have to trust one another. If you’re watching what they are doing, or constantly worrying about who they are with, you may press these insecurities onto them. Likewise, you also have to earn their trust.
Don’t Hold Back
Finally, don’t put your life on hold or hold yourself back. While you do have a partner, you can have a life too. Make sure that you don’t sacrifice too much for your own wellbeing, and miss out on anything because you’re worried about your partner or what they are doing.
Likewise, if you think that this relationship is no longer providing you with what you need, then consider if you are missing out or holding back on your career, friendships and happiness.